I have always been responsible. I’m a Capricorn, kinda comes with the territory. Even when I’m fucking up, it doesn’t take much for me to right the course. I will, and always do, figure it the fuck out.
But you’ve been seeing it here in my writing as much as I’ve been feeling it. I’m tired of all of it… the performance, the presentation… anything that keeps me from actually being me. From being free. I crave that so much. That call to just drop it all… all of the responsibilities and expectations and just go enjoy my life. Live with abandon.
It’s an unrealistic goal, but who gives a fuck about realistic. I’m living the realistic life right now and I am BORED. I look forward to nothing. I am never excited, or terrified, or ecstatic. I keep saying this because its true—
I WANT MORE. SO MUCH MORE.
I’m thankful for what I have but I want to live differently. Wrecklessly. Openly. Wildly.
No story today. Just these thoughts. We’ll see what I do with them.
