So. Like many other people, I stress shop. I was going through it one day and I decided to pull my phone out and see what I could find on sale. I went straight for one of my favorite lingerie sites. Now, mind you, I don’t have no reason to buy anything other than I’m in a mood and I want to use that as an excuse to be irresponsible. I also have no idea when I will ever wear any of the things I bought. But, I bought them anyway.
Fast Forward a couple weeks… and Valentine’s Day is upon us. There are two holidays that tend to get me down— Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day. Those days tend to just highlight my loneliness and they’re usually just all bad for me. This Valentine’s Day, I wanted to do something a little different, so I dressed up for work. I was cute but it didn’t help my mood at all. Somehow, I get through the day, come home, and crash. The next morning, still feeling shitty, I decide I’m gonna put on one of these body suits and film a poetry video. Maybe that will help my mood.
Y’all. That shit worked. I needed to feel sexy, desirable, wanton, and a little wild. I wanted to play, and see myself in a light that is different from everyday Trina. I needed a reminder of who I was at my core, a jolt of confidence… and just the right amount of chaos to add to my life. Maybe I just needed some excitement.
I know, I know. I’m the problem. And it’s okay.
Even my bad decisions turn out to be good ones in the long run.
Today’s story—
“If you want me, come and get me.” It’s a challenge and a call for alignment. What do you want? Like, really, really want? Are you going for it? And if not, do you really want what you say you want? Today’s story takes on that challenge— my character discovers what lengths he’s willing to go to get back the love of his life. Hope you enjoy!
“I ain’t come this far to lose you.”
by Katrina Mitchell
Jadon sat in the middle seat. In the window seat was an older woman who smelled like peanut butter and roses, whose heavy breathing almost sounded like a whistle. In the aisle seat was a young woman with loud techno playing in her earphones. He didn’t want to focus on it. Planes are always ridiculously overcrowded, and he was lucky to have found a seat so close to the front.
Jadon pulled out his iPad and clicked on his notes app. “I’m sorry,” he typed. He quickly erased it.
“I’m sorry” didn’t seem like what he needed to say. He needed something deeper, more convincing… more poetic even. How do I tell the love of my life not to leave me? He thought.
Do I bring up the time when we got ice cream cones and sat out on the beach, talking so much that most of the ice cream melted down our hands before we got to eat it? Or the time we drove to the Grand Canyon on a whim, with about $200 between the two of us?
“Nikki, when we met,” he typed, “I didn’t know how important you would become to me.”
Jadon hesitated. He didn’t want to sound corny. There was an innate feeling that if he wrote or said the wrong thing, he would lose her for sure. Anything that could make her lose respect for him as a man. If he said that he loved her, or that he would move mountains to be with her, that he would be looked at as weak. Best to reign in too much emotion.
He erased the last line.
The woman who smelled like peanut butter leaned closer to Jadon. “What’re you writing there?”
“Umm,” Jadon started. “I don’t know yet. It’s supposed to be a letter… but now it just seems corny.”
“Well,” the woman said, “in my limited experience, I’ve found that it’s best to just say what’s on your heart.”
Jadon glared at the woman. “Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do.”
Jadon turned back to his screen. “I want us to work this out.” It sounded sterile, emotionless. Nothing was really working. Jadon turned toward the peanut butter lady.
“Can I ask you something?” he asked.
“Sure,” peanut butter woman said. “I’m Thomasina by the way.”
“Nice to meet you Thomasina. I’m Jadon.” Jadon inhaled deeply. “I know what I want to say, but there seems to be no way to say it without looking like an idiot.”
“Well, what are you trying to say?”
Jadon looked down. “We, my girlfriend Nikki and I… we fought, and now I’m flying to see her because she wants to break up, but I don’t want to.”
“Nikki lives in Boston?”
“Yeah, she moved there a few months ago for a job.”
“Do you mind if I ask you what you were fighting about?”
Jadon paused. He wasn’t sure how much to reveal. “I think the distance is getting to the both of us. That’s the simplest way to put it.”
“Oh, gotcha.”
“Yeah. The plan was that this job was temporary and she would just stay for the duration, then come back. But she told me that they offered her a permanent position a few weeks ago, and she accepted it without talking to me.”
Headphone girl sat up and pulled down her headphones. “And you were upset because she didn’t ask you?” She sounded indignant. Jadon swung around.
“I mean, I didn’t need her to ask me. However, it would have been considerate if she gave me a heads up before she decided to accept the position.”
Thomasina shook her head. “I understand ya, but…”
“Are y’all married or engaged or something?” asked Headphone girl.
“No, but…”
“But you wanted the opportunity to talk her out of it, and now that the opportunity is gone, you’re upset?”
“No, you make it sound selfish. I just wanted to know when we could get back to our lives.”
“Right, but to her–” Thomasina turned to Headphone girl. “Sorry, what’s your name? I would rather call you by a name than just ‘her’.”
“Maya,” she responded.
“Thanks,” Thomasina started again. “But to Maya’s point, if the tables were turned, and it was you taking a job across the country, what do you think her response would be? Or better, what would have been the quote-unquote right thing for her to say or do in that situation?”
Jadon paused. Maya jumped in. “The expectation would have been for her to give up what she had to come and support you. Especially if y’all were married or engaged. She would have had to give up whatever she had going on to follow you.”
“Right,” Thomasina said. “But in this situation, she had an opportunity to do something for herself. Maybe she likes this job. Maybe the pay is great, and she is respected at work. But in a relationship, a woman’s job technically is not allowed to be her priority in this society. So if she told you, hey I got this offer but it would require me to stay here, what would you have said? Or better yet–” she said before Jadon could answer– “What would she have expected you to say?”
Jadon sighed. “That I would tell her not to take the job.”
Thomasina nods. “Exactly.”
“But I am happy for her,” Jadon said. “I truly am. But also, she could have just given me an opportunity to step up. Everyone is making assumptions on what I would’ve done, instead of letting me actually have a say.”
“Are you going to Boston to ask her to come home?” Maya asked.
In the back of his mind, that was what he was hoping for. He was hoping to remind her of all the fun they had together, and that they could keep having together if she just came home. “Yes,” he finally said.
“Would you ever consider uprooting your life for her?” Thomasina inquired.
“Like would I move to Boston?” Jadon asked. Thomasina nodded. “I mean, I really like my job too. I am comfortable with my life as it is now. I don’t think moving is an option for me.”
“So, it’s fair for you to ask her to give up something you wouldn’t give up for her?” Maya said sarcastically.
“Maybe,” Thomasina started, “instead of writing her a letter, you should consider letting her go. Let her live her life, and you live yours. I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but…”
Jadon let the plane sounds drown out Thomasina’s voice. Letting her go was the last thing he wanted. But maybe she and Maya had a point. He was asking her to give up something for him, and this might be something she really wanted for her life. It would be wrong for him to demand that she give it up for him. So what was he to do?
“Thank you,” he said to Maya and Thomasina. Jadon started typing again into his iPad.
The plane landed and Jadon quickly made his way to the baggage claim, then the taxi line. He sat in traffic and thought about what he had written to say. I’m really going to do this, he thought.
The cab pulled up in front of the townhouse Nikki had been staying in. He grabbed his bag, and walked up to the door. He rang the doorbell.
“Who is it?” Nikki called from the other side of the door.
“Jadon,” he said.
The door swung open quickly. Nikki jumped into Jadon’s arms. “Oh my God! What are you doing here?”
“I had to come see you,” he responded. Nikki pulled him into the townhouse.
“I’m glad you came,” she said. “I’ve been thinking about our argument last night and as much as I love you, I don’t know that it’s fair for me to expect you to want to stay in a long distance relationship.” Nikki paused, and looked away from Jadon. “Maybe we want different things now.”
Jadon lifted Nikki’s face with his hand. “I want what you want, cuz I want you.” He was sure and solid. “I been flying all day between two nosy ass and opinionated ass women, and they at least clarified one thing for me… I ain’t come this far to lose you. So you tell me what you want, and I’m gonna work on getting on the same page.”
Nikki’s eyes lit up. She hugged Jadon again, and he held on tight.
